Artemis Fowl and the Arctic Incident - Eoin Colfer

From: Colfer, Eoin (pronounced as 'Owen', by the way)
Sent: Yesterday
To: The World (above and below ground)
Subject: A message from Artemis Fowl's Official Biographer

The facts contained in this book are just that — facts.

It's all true, every word. Irish criminal mastermind Artemis Fowl has discovered a fairy race living below ground. He has extorted gold from them and the fairy police have been on his tail for supplying power cells to the goblin gangs.

But that's not the half of it. The Russian Mafiya are holding his father to ransom in the Arctic Circle and only Artemis's bodyguard, Butler, stands in between him and an evil pixie. As an explosive situation threatens the entire fairy civilization, Artemis realizes that even a wicked genius needs help sometimes. And it can come from the most unlikely quarters...

Fowl will deny all of this, of course, as will his army of lawyers. But they haven't sued me, have they?

Read on if you must. But wrap up warm.
Things are about to get frosty...